


Tonight We Hope

by oeuvres (scriobh)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 05:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13629822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scriobh/pseuds/oeuvres
Summary: In a tavern after a long day, Fjord and Caleb discuss what's to come.





	Tonight We Hope

**Author's Note:**

> I only caught bits and pieces of the episode 5 stream, so sorry if anything here blatantly contradicts canon. Also I was listening to "8 Billion" by Trent Reznor while writing this if you wanted to do the same while reading. Thanks!!

Fjord woke abruptly, feeling for the second day in a row like he had been drowning in his sleep. He turned on his side, coughing up water in a quiet panic. He vaguely registered the sound of a book closing before a gentle hand was on his arm, carefully helping him sit up. Fjord managed to regain control after a few moments, and he looked up to meet Caleb’s concerned gaze in the dim moonlight coming through the window.

“Are you all right, Fjord?” Caleb whispered, and the half-orc became conscious of the rest of their sleeping group filling the room.

“I, uh, yeah. I think I need a minute,” he replied, patting Caleb’s arm but passing him to leave for the washroom to remove any trace of the saltwater that was on him. When he returned several minutes later, slightly more composed, he saw Caleb waiting outside their door, hands twisting nervously. “You should go back to sleep. Sorry I woke you,” Fjord offered quietly.

“Not at all. I was already awake.” Caleb looked at Fjord discerningly.

“You should get some rest, then. We had a long day; you must be exhausted.”

Caleb shook his head. “This town feels too unsafe. Those gnolls were able to get in easily enough. Besides, I am fine. I wanted to make sure that you are as well, but you do not seem to be.” He looked up at Fjord with a knowing gaze. “I won’t force you to tell me anything you're not comfortable with. I know we are not very close yet, and perhaps you would prefer to confide in Jester first, but I would like offer myself for help, should you need me. I don’t yet know what plagues you, but with more information, I could possibly be of some use.” He took a breath, trying to gauge Fjord’s reaction. “I would just like to be certain that you know that in this group, you have people who will defend and protect you.”

Despite the fair amount of fear arising in him due to the situation, Fjord found himself smiling. “Thank you, Caleb. I really do appreciate that.” He glanced past Caleb to the door, and his fingers were on the handle before he paused. He wasn’t used to this strange kind of fear. Any threat that he had faced before had always come at him head-on. There were no mysteries or tricks—just a physical fight for survival. The idea of going up against… _something_ so maliciously unknown was terrifying, and suddenly the idea of trying to go back to sleep and possibly being thrown back into that nightmarishly dark and watery place was unbearable. “I… I’m actually gonna head downstairs for a bit. Sit by the fire. It’s a cold night out,” he justified weakly.

“Sure,” Caleb nodded. He turned to the door for a moment before speaking again. “Would you like company?”

Fjord paused, then nodded. “Yeah, I think I would. Thanks, Caleb.”

“Of course,” he replied, snapping his fingers briefly to leave Frumpkin behind in the room, no doubt watching over Nott as he followed Fjord down into the tavern.

In the early hours of the morning, there was no apparent bartender, though there were several figures scattered at different tables who were asleep with their faces in their arms. Caleb and Fjord headed to the dimly flickering fire, Fjord dragging two chairs over as Caleb added a log to the embers and then sat beside his companion. They were silent for a moment, Caleb seeming to understand that Fjord needed some time to collect his thoughts.

“I don’t mean to worry you with—with whatever all of this is. And we’ve got a good group here. I like all of you, and we work well together, but if it seems like I’m making any of you unsafe, I promise I’ll go.”

Caleb was shaking his head even as Fjord spoke. “We all have our own pasts that could come back to haunt us as a group. It seems that Beauregard’s may be already, because I do not believe for a moment that she was in a simple bar fight. Anyone could creep up from any of our lives and put us in danger. There are also many things out in the world that will threaten or try to kill us for no reason at all, or just because they don’t like who we are. I’m not going to claim that I’m brave, because I certainly am not, but I can see this as… perhaps just a fact of life.” Caleb cleared his throat, looking slightly embarrassed. “My point is that whatever is haunting you, none of us want you to have to face it on your own. We are stronger together, yes?”

Fjord chuckled, speaking when Caleb looked at him questioningly. “You keep saying you’re not brave, but your actions keep telling another story.”

Caleb flushed slightly. “Hiding behind a building in a fight isn’t bravery.”

“You went charging right in there with the rest of us to save this town. You did a lot of damage to the bad guys and helped save a lot of lives. And I saw you run right for Nott the second she went down, even though that big one was still shooting.” Fjord’s gaze turned soft. “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit, Caleb.”

The wizard looked down at his hands, rubbing his thumb and forefinger together compulsively. “We were talking about you, I believe,” he said quietly.

Fjord nodded slowly, then shrugged. “Fair enough. I’ll talk then.” He sighed. “I don’t understand what the hell’s going on. Waking up from that dream again, choking up sea water—it’s terrifying.”

“And connected to your blade?” Caleb was looking at Fjord once again, his interest quashing any discomfort.

“Has to be,” Fjord said, picturing the sheath upstairs that wouldn’t hold the falchion until he willed it to appear. “What if….” He met Caleb’s thoughtful gaze. “I’ve always admired magic users. The abilities that they have—you can just see it on ‘em. Even just the way they talk and move, it’s the most obvious thing that they’ve got so much power just under their skin, ready to become something incredible. It amazes me, and I’ve always wanted to have that myself. So what if… what if I made a deal so I could have that? If I did something I can’t remember, and now some big, terrible thing wants to cash in, wants me to get stronger and do bad things for it? What if I don’t get to be in control of my life or actions because I was greedy?”

Caleb’s brow was furrowed. Fjord couldn’t tell if this look was disapproving or if he was just deep in thought, but he waited for him to act first regardless, already feeling like he had bared his soul to the man.

“I’ve only known you a short time,” Caleb said slowly. “But I think you have proven yourself to be a good man. You clearly care for Beauregard and Jester. You’ve welcomed Nott, Mollymauk, and myself into your company without complaint or hesitation. We’d barely even met before you made it clear that you would risk your life for a stranger’s cat.” He smiled slightly, kindly. “And in the days I have known you, you have been nothing but good, so I don’t think that whatever is happening to you could somehow turn you bad when the person you are is intrinsically kind and protective. If this is something that you really fear, however, then I pledge to watch over you in the event that you do somehow change. And if some water demon comes for you, know that your friends will stand between you and the monster.”

Fjord was suddenly deeply grateful that he hadn’t simply returned to their room and was instead able to hear Caleb’s reassurances, which were somehow exactly what he’d needed to hear. Perhaps he should be opening up to the whole group. It would be safer for them to be prepared, after all, and Fjord really didn’t like secrets.

“Thank you, Caleb,” he said again. After another moment’s contemplation, he summoned his blade into his hand, watching as it dripped water onto the wooden floor. “You’d said before that examining this might help?” 

Caleb was staring at the weapon with both interest and trepidation. “It’s… possible. I have learned about cursed objects in the past, and there are records of sentient weapons which can control or kill their wielder, but they are rare, and much of what is written is mere folklore. However, that devil-toad was a creature of folklore, so stories can teach us vital information too.” He paused, seeming to realize that his words were in no way comforting. “I can try to see if there is any magic tethered to the blade. Or to you, for that matter. I’d tried to detect any spells that first day we’d met, but in truth, I was mainly focused on Mollymauk’s tricks.”

“Sure, go ahead,” Fjord invited him, holding out the falchion flat on his palms.

Energy crackled over Caleb’s fingertips as he focused intently on the weapon for a minute then redirected his gaze to Fjord and repeated his actions before slowly shaking his head.

“There is no magic acting on you, not even residual. Your blade, though… it’s strange.” He looked puzzled and slightly frustrated that he didn’t have any answers. “Like I said, when we first met, I detected nothing, but now it feels… different. I am not sure how to describe it. It is charged, or awakened, perhaps. There is not necessarily magic there, but there is a strange energy. Could you possibly…?” He made a gesture, and Fjord dismissed the blade. Caleb’s expression was worryingly unsettled. “I am not well-versed in the magic of good and evil, but perhaps Jester could examine it in the morning. She may be able to give you some clarity in all of this.”

“Beyond what you’ve already given me,” Fjord said pointedly. He grasped Caleb’s arm, squeezing it gently. “I can’t say how much I appreciate you listening and helping, darlin’.”

Caleb laughed nervously, his hand making an aborted motion toward Fjord before returning to his lap where his fingers twisted restlessly again. “I am glad to help. I wish I could do more. I will, if you ask. If you decide to share.”

Fjord nodded gratefully. “I need to figure some things out, get some thoughts together, but I promise you I’m not just going to keep this to myself.”

“Good,” Caleb said. “It is unnerving to see you so shaken. I’d like to be able to fix this for you.”

“Well, we’ve made a good first step. As long as you’re all willing to stop me if I become something I’m not, I think I may be able to sleep a little easier.”

Caleb opened his mouth, ready to deny his willingness to ‘stop’ Fjord, but he cut himself off. Mollymauk would probably be willing enough. Yasha and Beau, too, and even Nott if it came to one of her friends possibly getting hurt. Caleb could let Fjord be comforted by the knowledge that his friends would protect him even from himself, but he still resolved in that moment to learn everything he could about Fjord’s situation so he would know how to help when he finally opened up completely. “I do not think you will change,” he said instead, and he was met with a tired but gentle smile in response.

“What’s that phrase—Hope for the best but prepare for the worst?” Fjord said, glancing back toward the stairs before settling further into his chair rather than returning to bed, staring into the fire with something too close to resignation in his eyes.

Caleb stared him down, hating the poorly hidden fear and worry in his gaze. “So tonight we hope,” he said simply.

Fjord looked back at him, the faint smile returning to his lips. “Yeah. Tonight we hope.”


End file.
